“When Exposed to COVID-19”

You’ve been exposed to COVID-19.

The notification turns my heart to ice

Lights my chest on fire, turns my fingers to ash

It’s funny that my mind immediately flashes to the three stages of stress

Stress tastes like lemons in my mouth, and my tongue forgets its function

Please do not come into work for another week.

In the alarm stage

I scramble for masks

I text my parents that I will be confined to my room, spelling every word wrong

I nitpick every cough I hear from my parents in their office rooms

I analyze every rattling breath I hear from my grandfather next door

I try to write something down so that my brain can make sense of the news but my hand is still clenching the phone with the message as if it can squeeze the words away

We will schedule your Covid test shortly, look out for an email.

In the resistance stage

I remember the parents of my friends, passing away quickly and suddenly

COVID finds them in grocery stores, hair salons, doctor’s offices, funeral homes

COVID goes for all with far-reaching hands that don’t like to let go

I force my heart rate to settle by playing slow-moving music

I finally write myself a reminder on a sticky note and hold it in my palm:

“Don’t start Googling symptoms.”

In the meantime, it is recommended that you stay in quarantine until you receive a negative test and avoid contact with all persons.

In the exhaustion stage

I sink back into the grayscale carpet and pretend I am a piece of lint

I trace the gritty designs on the ceiling with my eyes

I can smell my dinner sitting outside my room on the floor

I uncurl my fingers and practice breathing

Thank you for your cooperation.